I was giving no time to Quran, not reading Islamic stuff, whatever I learned from the Tafseer course before marriage, I was forgetting all. I heard lot of deaths (wont call sudden as death is always a sudden happening, it doesn't warn us before coming). I had this fear (thanks to postpartum depression too) that what if I am also going to die right away and am not regular in prayers, out of touch with Allah and His Religion, just spending days like an animal (no aim...spending days like a machine...) I was fearful, I was having bad panic attacks, so first thing I tried was sharing my feelings with a friend who herself got panic attacks, she was helping me a lot, but the REAL CHANGE was when I started getting regular to prayers, I don't know if I was saying prayer with full concentration but I was trying my best. I also asked for online consultation from Islamic site and my teacher there used to chat with me on skype and through email and made me realize I won't feel OK until unless I get closer to Allah. She didn't force me but invited me to join her online Tajweed and Tafseer classes. When I found myself being closer to Allah and to be regular to prayers, I found peace.
Our Aim of life is to spend it in a way ALLAH and His Prophet (SAW) thought us. People look for meditation, I suggest Muslim Sisters, that be it 5 minutes, but give some time to Allah, share your thoughts with Allah and no one on this world can help you as we are Human Beings and we are not strong enough to give perfect peace of mind and soul while Allah Almighty can. I am short of words, my daughter can just be awake when she hears the noise of keyboard. Just wanted to share my personal experience with you all.
Alhamdulillah in this world when everyone asks for money, there still are people who do something for the reward NOT from the human beings BUT from Allah. Ar Rajaa is the right place and I am thankful to Allah who made things easier for me with His help I found the peace. I am still not honest in prayers, but I am trying my best to say them regularly. Plus whenever you feel panic attack, just be reminded that is is from Shaitan, and he wants to drag your attention, be positive, we all know we have to die, so just be closer to Allah, and share everything with HIM only and you will find peace, make lot of duas when false thing comes to mind.
As-Salaamu Alaykum,
ReplyDeleteSubhanAllah i was just thinking about you last night and wondering where you and your sister had disappeared to? Barak Allahu Feekum.
Truly Allah is all we need and your right we (the ummah) generally are focused only on the dunya :( it's good to fear death and taking yourself to account as it will bring you closer to Allah.
JazakAllah khair for sharing your experience.
aww sis Asmaa, am so glad to see you :) how are you n kids
DeleteAlhamdulillah we are fine sister thank you, my daughter has a few health problems but tahoor in sha Allah.
DeleteIn Sha Allah :) give my love to her..
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